1 00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:30,130 Good evening. 2 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,130 The entertainment industry is always crying for new faces. 3 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:37,100 I've decided to give them one. 4 00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:39,400 Not that there's anything wrong with the old one. 5 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,100 In fact, I think it's rather good. 6 00:00:45,070 --> 00:00:47,240 Well, it could have been worse. What if I had cracked? 7 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,640 See, here's the one. 8 00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:00,390 I've always wanted to be someone else. 9 00:01:05,090 --> 00:01:06,460 That won't do. 10 00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:09,060 I look like a near-sighted hearth rug. 11 00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:11,070 By an odd coincidence, 12 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,630 we have a story about a man 13 00:01:12,670 --> 00:01:15,440 who decided to be someone other than himself. 14 00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:18,410 And by an equally odd coincidence, 15 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,140 it is rehearsed and ready to start. 16 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:22,310 Here it is. 17 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,100 SEYMOUR: I suppose you could say it began that Easter Sunday. 18 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:46,630 I was spending the weekend at my Aunt Muriel's house in Norwich, Connecticut. 19 00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:49,500 A place I was forced to spend many weekends. 20 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:53,010 Not that I found my aunt's company particularly congenial, far from it. 21 00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:56,280 But the food was fair and even she didn't have the effrontery 22 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,150 to charge me for my visits. 23 00:01:58,180 --> 00:02:00,380 Not that she wasn't capable of doing even that. 24 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,820 As a matter of fact, 25 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:04,820 nothing my aunt did would be too surprising. 26 00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:07,760 But that weekend, she went too far. 27 00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:09,660 Even for a person as good-natured as myself. 28 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,800 Can't you see my problem? 29 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,530 The shop is a veritable gold mine. 30 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,470 But when you work with objets d'art, you have to begin slowly. 31 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,910 I don't think we'd better discuss the antique shop anymore, Seymour. 32 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:27,080 I simply cannot let you have any more money. 33 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,740 Well, I know it's true. I wasn't cut out to be a businessman, 34 00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:30,110 but the shop is different. 35 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,650 Now, it might interest you to know... 36 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,820 I'll tell you what it would interest me to know. 37 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,420 Just what you think you are cut out for, Seymour. 38 00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:40,990 You don't understand. 39 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,560 I should have lived in the Renaissance. 40 00:02:44,590 --> 00:02:46,090 Or some other period 41 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,800 when refinement and culture and taste 42 00:02:51,970 --> 00:02:53,500 really meant something. 43 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,800 I doubt if there was ever a period in history 44 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,670 when men could enjoy those things without money. 45 00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:03,650 Well, if it comes to that... 46 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,150 If dear Papa hadn't left all the money to you instead of to me, 47 00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,780 I would have money. 48 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:12,050 Your father was a very sensible man, Seymour. 49 00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:15,790 He felt he must force you to make your own way for a while. 50 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,560 He thought it might put some sense into your head about money. 51 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,700 It's a pity Father didn't have any understanding of what I'm really like. 52 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,800 Oh, you're wrong, Seymour. 53 00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:32,210 Really you are. 54 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,640 Perception and sensitivity don't seem to run on your side of the family. 55 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,880 He couldn't help it any more than you can. 56 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,820 Ordinarily I'm a fairly good-natured person, Seymour, 57 00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:47,690 but I find it impossible to spend any time with you and remain that way. 58 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:52,260 Is it possible 59 00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:55,000 that you're suffering from a feeling of guilt? 60 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,930 You mean guilt about the money? No. 61 00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,040 I'm only grateful you live in the city 62 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,170 and aren't around to embarrass me all the time. 63 00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,140 Why should I embarrass anyone? 64 00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:07,640 Oh, Seymour... 65 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,610 Your affectations. 66 00:04:12,650 --> 00:04:15,550 Don't you see how people around here laugh at you all the time? 67 00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:17,050 What people? 68 00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:19,190 I never see them, much less care what they think. 69 00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:25,930 The only way I could possibly survive 70 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,760 in this so-called civilization 71 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:32,070 is not to see anything unpleasant. 72 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,900 Just to pretend 73 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,670 it doesn't exist. 74 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,240 Oh, I give up. 75 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,750 Don't tell me you're running out of good advice. 76 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:47,220 No. Out of patience. 77 00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:52,920 I thought that was something that you and Father had an inexhaustible supply of. 78 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:56,760 No one could have enough patience to put up with you, Seymour. 79 00:04:56,790 --> 00:04:59,430 Because of all the vain, silly, egotistical, unattractive... 80 00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:00,630 Unattractive? 81 00:05:02,030 --> 00:05:05,070 Of course, everyone has a right to his own opinion, 82 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,670 but unfortunately you're in the minority. 83 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,940 I'm going upstairs. 84 00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:14,310 Seymour. 85 00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:17,750 Do you realize that when you're in a room with a person, 86 00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:22,480 you not only get into a position where you can admire yourself in a mirror, 87 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,250 but where the person with you can only see what you call your best angle? 88 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:27,360 It is my best angle. 89 00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,620 Oh, stop it. 90 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,490 I never heard such nonsense in my life. 91 00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:35,760 Good heavens. This sort of thing is bad enough in a woman, 92 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,800 but in a man, it's... 93 00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:42,640 Well, it's embarrassing. 94 00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:45,810 At your age, do you think it's wise to get yourself upset like that? 95 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,540 It might not be good for your health. 96 00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:51,250 Don't worry about my health, Seymour. 97 00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:55,850 Though I have no doubt you've given a good deal of thought to it. 98 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,550 Oh, why shouldn't I be concerned? 99 00:05:58,590 --> 00:06:00,220 After all, you are my aunt. 100 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:03,390 Don't waste your time worrying about my health, Seymour. 101 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,930 I know you can't wait to get your hands on the money. 102 00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:09,800 My dear Aunt Muriel, that is almost a vulgar remark. 103 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:12,870 A little vulgarity in your nature would be a very healthy thing. 104 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,540 That's beside the point at the moment. 105 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,740 Oh, there's never been any secret of the fact 106 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:24,480 that the money is yours when I die. 107 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:27,620 But I wouldn't waste my time if I were you, Seymour, waiting for it. 108 00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:29,820 It may take a long time. 109 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:32,050 You might just as well make up your mind. 110 00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,360 If you want any more money, you've got to go to work. 111 00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:36,090 What about my shop? 112 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,930 Your shop is just an excuse not to work. 113 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,930 I'll thank you not to make derogatory remarks about that shop, Aunt Muriel. 114 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,160 Will you or will you not give me that money? 115 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,200 No. Not one cent. 116 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,870 Not one cent of the money do you get while I'm alive. 117 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:53,140 SEYMOUR: I didn't answer her. I simply smiled. 118 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:55,110 Obviously, there would have been no point 119 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:57,280 in prolonging the discussion with her any further. 120 00:06:57,310 --> 00:07:00,020 For while I had no intention of descending to her level 121 00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:02,250 and bickering about anything as sordid as money, 122 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,320 it was at that moment I made up my mind. 123 00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:07,220 Now, there was no alternative. 124 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,190 (CLOCK CHIMING) I would simply have to murder my aunt. 125 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,370 I moved slowly, 126 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,070 discarding plan after plan as unworthy, 127 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,370 until one day when I was eating, 128 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,710 certainly not enjoying my meager lunch, 129 00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:25,910 it happened. 130 00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:31,180 It was a wallet. 131 00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:34,050 A wallet obviously dropped by someone else. 132 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:47,600 My first thought was it might contain money. 133 00:07:47,630 --> 00:07:50,700 Shocking comment on the position my aunt had placed me in. 134 00:07:50,730 --> 00:07:53,740 However, it contained only a driver's license. 135 00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:55,840 But after my first disappointment, 136 00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:58,070 I realized suddenly 137 00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,510 that fate had placed the solution in my hands. 138 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,510 As I looked down at the license, 139 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,580 the whole plan came to me. 140 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:07,250 Complete and perfect in every detail. 141 00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:14,820 LIZA: Seymour, why on earth did you drag me down here 142 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,190 in the middle of the afternoon? 143 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,160 And why are you closing the shop at this hour? 144 00:08:18,190 --> 00:08:20,500 A: I want to talk to you. 145 00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,900 B: I don't wish to be disturbed. 146 00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,940 If you mean by a customer, I don't think there's much danger. 147 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,680 If I wasn't in such a good humor today, 148 00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,250 I might be a little annoyed by your attitude. 149 00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,050 I'm terrified. 150 00:08:44,550 --> 00:08:46,290 I'm also getting extremely impatient. 151 00:08:47,390 --> 00:08:50,060 What's so special about this afternoon? 152 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,260 Don't tell me your aunt had the decency to die. 153 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,500 Not quite. 154 00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,060 (CLOCK CHIMING) 155 00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:56,430 Let me ask you something, Liza. 156 00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,830 Have you ever been presented 157 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:03,640 with a large complex idea, 158 00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:08,040 complete down to the last detail? 159 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,610 I wouldn't know. Ideas aren't my specialty. 160 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,480 Like leisurely unwrapping a large Christmas parcel 161 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,450 full of the most wonderful surprises. 162 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,650 I've almost forgotten what that's like. 163 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:21,160 I've been going with you for so long now, Seymour. 164 00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:24,560 That's unworthy of you, Liza. 165 00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:27,660 You've always known that even if things are a little tight now, as soon as... 166 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,400 As soon as your aunt dies, it will all be different. 167 00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:33,030 The only trouble is by the time she does, if she ever does, 168 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,940 we'll both be so old it won't matter. 169 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,680 I never worry about age. 170 00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:44,610 I have the kind of bone structure that lasts. 171 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,050 Well, I haven't. 172 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,680 I want my share of the cake now. 173 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,250 That's right. You don't have that kind of bone structure. 174 00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:57,590 For your information, I've about decided not to sit around here any longer 175 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,360 admiring your bone structure. 176 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,560 There's no point in both of us doing the same thing. 177 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,470 There's an edge to your voice, Liza, that means you want to quarrel. 178 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,270 You know how I abhor quarreling. 179 00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:13,140 Then suppose you stop talking in circles and tell me what this is all about. 180 00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:14,980 Let me ask you one more question. 181 00:10:15,910 --> 00:10:18,180 What, in your opinion, 182 00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:20,480 is the most important thing in the world? 183 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,520 Money. I'm serious. 184 00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:25,350 All right. I'll play. 185 00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:27,790 What is the most important thing? 186 00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:29,620 It's not money. 187 00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:32,660 It's not taste or personality, 188 00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,160 or distinctive features. 189 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,170 It's a passport. 190 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,840 A what? A passport. 191 00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:43,470 An official document. 192 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,040 A social security card. A driver's license. 193 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:49,140 In other words, an identification. 194 00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:51,810 Because it is only by an official identification 195 00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,150 that we really exist. 196 00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:56,950 I don't get it. Sit down. 197 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:06,860 Liza, do you know what that is? 198 00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:10,530 A driver's license. 199 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:14,940 Correct. A California driver's license in the name of Antonio Bertani. 200 00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:17,670 I found it quite by accident at lunchtime. 201 00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:20,340 Pity it wasn't a $100 bill. 202 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,780 It's worth a great deal more than that. 203 00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:25,950 With this license, I can create a person. 204 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:30,320 A person who will do exactly 205 00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:32,520 what I require of him. 206 00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:35,260 Would it interest you to know that I have no idea what you're talking about? 207 00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:37,090 How can you be so stupid? 208 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:39,390 My dear Liza, 209 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:42,700 don't you understand that with this license, 210 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:45,800 anybody can become Mr. Bertani? 211 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,500 He can buy a car and register it in his name. 212 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:50,410 He can rent a house in some little town, let's say, in New Jersey... 213 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:51,870 Now, wait a minute. 214 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:54,680 I want to be sure I've got this all straight. 215 00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:57,580 You're going to hire someone to impersonate this Bertani. 216 00:11:57,610 --> 00:11:59,110 Bertani. 217 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,450 My dear Liza, it is not a question of impersonation. 218 00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:05,690 I shall create 219 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,430 a fictitious person by the name of Bertani, 220 00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,660 who will do anything I want him to do, 221 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,060 including the all-important last act. 222 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,830 My aunt's demise. 223 00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:21,440 And who, if I may be so bold, is going to play the part? 224 00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:24,210 I am. 225 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,180 You? 226 00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:28,280 SEYMOUR: Me. 227 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:32,210 Liza, why are you laughing? 228 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,220 I can't help it. It's too funny. 229 00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:40,290 I fail to see any humor in this situation whatsoever. 230 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,090 I don't doubt it, Seymour. 231 00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:44,190 Humor was never your strong point. 232 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,360 Honestly, I can't take it seriously. 233 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:49,100 I can't do anything but laugh. 234 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:51,100 As a matter of fact, at this moment, 235 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:53,100 I can't think of anyone in the world who's safer than your aunt. 236 00:12:56,540 --> 00:12:59,110 SEYMOUR: I had no intention of allowing her attitude to stop me. 237 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,110 The only effect it had 238 00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:05,050 is that I made a mental note that at my convenience, 239 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,680 Liza, too, would have to go. 240 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,250 Meanwhile, I wasted no time putting my plan in operation. 241 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:15,690 I purchased those items necessary for my disguise. 242 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,060 The actual creation of the goodSeñor Bertani 243 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:20,100 was extremely simple. 244 00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:22,330 I had only to use my purchases skillfully. 245 00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:30,770 I was no longer Seymour Johnston, 246 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,210 but Antonio Bertani. 247 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:41,720 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 248 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,460 Mr. Bertani? Yes? 249 00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:53,430 I'm your neighbor, Mrs... What do you want? 250 00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:58,170 I'm soliciting funds for our new church organ... 251 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,040 I don't give to any churches. 252 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,100 Oh, I'm sorry. And what's more, I don't like to be bothered. 253 00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:03,510 You can tell that to your friends. 254 00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:05,470 Well, really... And don't let that happen again. 255 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,080 SEYMOUR: I had no doubt as to how she would describeSeñor Bertani 256 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:13,680 when the police finally traced him there. 257 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,880 I made the same impression on other neighbors 258 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,420 during the weekends I spent in that ghastly little apartment during the summer. 259 00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:24,060 Then with this last purchase in Bertani's name, 260 00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:25,760 I was ready. 261 00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:29,130 The plan was complete but for the final act. 262 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,500 The murder of my aunt. 263 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:43,180 I was full of satisfaction as I arrived on the grounds of my aunt's estate 264 00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:46,080 in the car I had purchased in the good Bertani's name. 265 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,280 Or should I perhaps call him the bad Bertani? 266 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,350 There's something very satisfying 267 00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:54,590 about drawing to the end 268 00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:58,890 of an extremely complicated and delicate operation. 269 00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:02,600 I hid the car in the bushes a short distance from the house. 270 00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:05,700 And since my plan called for it to be found there by the police, 271 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:09,200 I made certain the wheels were deeply embedded in the soft earth. 272 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,040 Then I walked the rest of the way to the house. 273 00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:15,280 The evening went as usual 274 00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:17,850 with an endless lecture of my failings. 275 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,680 In a way, I was glad of this, 276 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,850 for it reaffirmed the rightness of what she was forcing me to do. 277 00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:33,500 What are you looking at me like that for, Seymour? 278 00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:35,630 I was just thinking how nice you look this evening. 279 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,730 I see. 280 00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:40,540 You sound unconvinced. 281 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:42,800 I am. 282 00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:46,540 As a matter of fact, everything you've done this evening 283 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,510 has been very unconvincing. 284 00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:55,480 (PIANO PLAYING) You've been more peculiar than usual. 285 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,420 And here, I thought I'd been particularly charming. 286 00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,090 You have been trying to be. 287 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,620 Trying? 288 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,760 Yes. 289 00:16:05,490 --> 00:16:07,660 You're the most exasperating woman I've ever known. 290 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,630 I don't know why I put up with you. 291 00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:11,330 It's the other way around, isn't it? 292 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,070 This is my house, Seymour. 293 00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:15,040 I am the one putting up with you. 294 00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:20,280 Yes, it is your house. Temporarily. 295 00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:22,480 Yes, temporarily. 296 00:16:22,510 --> 00:16:25,450 Oh, it's silly of me to play this game with you. 297 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,350 What game? 298 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:32,390 I know perfectly well what's wrong with you tonight. 299 00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:34,820 I don't know what you're talking about. 300 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:38,630 Don't you think I know that it was you who sent me that silly letter? 301 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,430 Letter? What letter? 302 00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,870 The letter threatening my life, 303 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,800 unless I pay $10,000 by the first of the month 304 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:54,140 to some man by the name of Antonio Bertani. 305 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,850 No one else in the world would think of anything so childish. 306 00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,250 My dear Aunt Muriel, 307 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,080 if you've received a letter threatening your life, 308 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,420 don't you think you ought to go to the police about it? 309 00:17:05,450 --> 00:17:06,420 The police? 310 00:17:06,450 --> 00:17:07,720 Of course. 311 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,730 If your life is in danger, shouldn't the police know about it? 312 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,200 So that's what you wanted. 313 00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:17,500 You wanted me to take it to the police. 314 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,800 (MURIEL LAUGHING) Well, no, I didn't... 315 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:25,410 Oh, Seymour, it isn't possible. 316 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,210 Don't tell me you were planning to kill me 317 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,380 and then have it blamed on some fictitious character that you invented. 318 00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:34,620 You find that amusing? 319 00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:37,050 Oh, it's wrong of me to laugh, I know. 320 00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:41,920 It's so silly and childish and typical of you. 321 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,930 What have you done with the letter? 322 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,460 What have you done with it? 323 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,630 I put it in the wastepaper basket. What else would I do with it? 324 00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:01,680 Now, what are you doing? 325 00:18:01,710 --> 00:18:04,510 Shut the desk drawer. 326 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,650 This has gone far enough. 327 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,650 That's right. So it has. 328 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,490 You're right. I did send that letter. 329 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,690 And I did want you to turn it in to the police. 330 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,590 But it'll be just as well if they find it in that drawer. 331 00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,390 It will serve as a motive. 332 00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:18,330 You don't have to worry about paying up by the first of the month. 333 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,760 Don't worry. You won't be overdue. 334 00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:25,030 Now put that thing down, Seymour, you might hurt yourself. 335 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,600 Dear Aunt Muriel, 336 00:18:26,630 --> 00:18:28,900 always so concerned with other people's welfare. 337 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,140 (GUN FIRING) 338 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,170 What was that noise? 339 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,500 I don't know, sir. That's what I came to find out. 340 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,370 It sounded like a shot. 341 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,370 Well, that's impossible. It must have been a car backfiring. 342 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,840 Perhaps we better look. 343 00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:18,320 Good heavens. 344 00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:19,690 Oh, sir. 345 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,390 Poor Mrs. Drummond. 346 00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,860 How could such a thing happen? 347 00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:25,590 (GASPS) There's a man out there. 348 00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:28,330 Don't worry. I'll get him. 349 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,430 SEYMOUR: It all worked beautifully just as I had planned. 350 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,600 But then, of course, if you're intelligent to plan well, 351 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,100 it always works out. 352 00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:39,340 I started the motor even though I knew the car 353 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,240 was deeply embedded in the soft ground. 354 00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:49,580 And then as I left the gun in the car, 355 00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:51,090 my work was done. 356 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:54,190 I had nothing else to do but return to the house, 357 00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:57,060 call the police and act the part of the bereaved nephew. 358 00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:02,400 I'm so ashamed, Inspector. I mean, to think I had so little courage. 359 00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:03,930 You mean you could have caught him? 360 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:07,000 Well, I don't know about that. I heard a sound at the gate and I... 361 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,300 Well, frankly, I was frightened. You see, I remembered he had a gun. 362 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:10,840 I was simply afraid. 363 00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:12,310 What happened then? 364 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,310 Well, I waited at the gate for a while 365 00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:16,610 and then I heard a car start up back in the woods. 366 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,710 I went toward it, not very fast, I'm afraid. 367 00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:22,120 Well, did you get a look at the car as it came out? 368 00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:23,850 It didn't come out. 369 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,150 What do you mean it didn't? It's not still there? 370 00:20:26,190 --> 00:20:27,820 Well, yes. I heard someone starting the... 371 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,690 Never mind. Tell me the rest on the way. Come on. 372 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,730 SEYMOUR: When we returned to the house, the detective found the letter in the desk 373 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,360 and seemed dissatisfied not only with it, but also with everything. 374 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,270 He was that kind of person. 375 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:40,670 An unnaturally suspicious, pleasureless soul 376 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,270 who depressed me even to talk to. 377 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,340 However, although it wasn't necessary, 378 00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,940 I decided it would be a nice touch to win him. 379 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:51,050 Didn't your aunt ever tell you she was receiving this sort of thing? 380 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,650 Why, never. I don't understand it. 381 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,250 We were so close. 382 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,920 She never had any secrets from me. 383 00:20:56,950 --> 00:20:59,220 Well, as far as that goes, I knew your aunt pretty well myself. 384 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,860 I would have thought she'd told me. 385 00:21:00,890 --> 00:21:03,160 That's so strange. 386 00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:05,590 Why should anybody want to blackmail Aunt Muriel? 387 00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:07,160 I mean, she had nothing to hide. 388 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,200 Well, I imagine we'll find the answer to that 389 00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:10,870 when we've traced the car and the gun. 390 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,600 SEYMOUR: Well, I imagine that won't be too difficult for you. 391 00:21:12,630 --> 00:21:14,870 I suppose you're very experienced at that kind of thing. 392 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,100 It's my job. 393 00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:25,810 Oh, good morning, Inspector. 394 00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:27,350 Have you found out anything? 395 00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:29,520 We've traced the car, Mr. Johnston. 396 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,250 Then, you've traced the murderer? 397 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:33,760 Have you arrested him? 398 00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:37,160 Well, not yet. But I think we're pretty close. 399 00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:40,200 Of course, he wasn't at home when we paid him a visit. 400 00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:43,330 His name was Bertani. 401 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:45,430 Have you ever heard that name, Mr. Johnston? 402 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:49,470 Bertani? Bertani. 403 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:52,310 Isn't that the name of the man who wrote my aunt that letter threatening her life? 404 00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:55,280 I wondered if you'd remember. 405 00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:58,410 In any case, we found that he lived over in New Jersey. 406 00:21:58,450 --> 00:22:01,450 The people there thought that he was hiding out. 407 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,850 Well, he certainly won't go back there. Didn't they give you a description of him? 408 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:08,220 Oh, yes, we got a description. A very complete description. 409 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,290 Well, then, you shouldn't have any difficulty in picking him up. 410 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,690 We don't expect to. 411 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:19,330 Why are you staring at me? 412 00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:21,540 Because I can't believe it. 413 00:22:21,570 --> 00:22:24,070 I'm looking right at you and I can't believe it. 414 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,440 Mr. Johnston. 415 00:22:33,550 --> 00:22:37,690 I think I told you that your aunt and I were very good friends. 416 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,790 She used to talk to me a good deal about you. 417 00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:41,820 I wouldn't pay any attention to anything she might have said. 418 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,460 Tell me. 419 00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:45,360 Why is it that when you're talking to someone, 420 00:22:45,390 --> 00:22:47,630 you always keep your right profile turned away? 421 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:51,970 I wasn't aware of it. I didn't... 422 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,130 Just a minute. 423 00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:59,310 I remember that once she told me that when anything annoyed you, 424 00:22:59,340 --> 00:23:02,310 you simply pretended that it wasn't there. 425 00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:04,910 She said you were able to do it 426 00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:08,480 so that you never really saw anything you didn't want to see. 427 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,050 Well, what's so dreadful about that? 428 00:23:10,090 --> 00:23:12,720 There's nothing dreadful about it. 429 00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:16,120 It's just a little difficult when you want to disguise yourself 430 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,930 and you've managed to convince yourself that something isn't there. 431 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,130 So you don't bother to disguise that. 432 00:23:23,530 --> 00:23:25,600 Particularly something as conspicuous 433 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,470 as that birthmark of yours. 434 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,190 Poor Seymour. 435 00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:47,090 It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. 436 00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:52,760 I've decided not to be someone else after all. 437 00:23:52,790 --> 00:23:54,860 If I won't be myself, who will? 438 00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:58,500 However, allow me to indulge my exhibitionist tendencies 439 00:23:58,530 --> 00:24:00,940 with this quick-change demonstration. 440 00:24:03,140 --> 00:24:05,210 The Alfred Hitchcock of today. 441 00:24:15,450 --> 00:24:18,890 The Alfred Hitchcock of 30 years ago. 442 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,820 The secret of this transformation is rather simple. 443 00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:23,530 I just removed my wallet. 444 00:24:24,860 --> 00:24:28,300 And now, I shall remove myself. 445 00:24:28,330 --> 00:24:31,230 But soon, I shall return with another story.